Long time without blogging

It's quite unfortunate that I gave in writing my thoughts and let the daily routine and the rush to cope with everything that came up absorve the few moments that I spent in my blog. My thoughts, if not shared just remain in my mind and won't have any effect on anybody else, or even evolve in my own mind unless they are somehow published. People that comment my blogs are offering me a great opportunity to learn, to see different, many times opposite points of view. What a better way to grow.

Anyhow, I'd like to write about something that's been in my mind for a few months now, ever since I started to have some movility limitations: life. I used to get into discussions about the meaning of life, and time. Quite a heavy topic, discussed at length by all philosophers, evidently with a lot more training in Philosophy than me. But some of them, possibly the existentialists, had an impact on my way of looking at life, at least in my philosophical discussions. Some times at least, existentialism gave me strong arguments in some heated debates. So, from an strategic point of view, it was convenient for discussions. Of course, I must've added some arguments of my own and somehow, all of that became a target for my real philosophy of life. The one of my moments of solitude, and when I started to think about my health condition many of those arguments came back to me, but now loaded with the fear of the uncertainty about what diseaseI could have. Tests after tests have possibly narrow down the spectrum of possibilities to one or two neurologic diseases and my own research have led me to believe that I may not recover full movility, but under treatment, I may continue with the current level of movility, or something like that. I am facing one of the most challenging moments in my life. Some people, many close to me, would think "life is tough", while I reafirm myself in my motto "life is not tough, life is just challenging". And the way I have been receiving the results, day after day, lab test after lab test, doctor visit after doctor visit, it seems I have been applying quite well many of my discussion-winning arguments and my motto.

It doesn't matter what the diagnosis is (probably, I will have it tomorrow), I am optimistic. I've had several months now to look at my past, I am almost 50 years old, and it has been wonderful. What about my present? It can't get any better than that. And my future? Well, if my past and my present are so wonderful, what do I have to fear in the future? Nothing. First of all, I'm not alone in this. I have my family and friends that have always supported me. I am not the first, the last or the only patient of neurological diseases. And what about the existentialism. Well, plain and simple. I have a wonderful present. I love what I do and I don't have to make radical changes. As life develops I will just adapt to newer circumstances, newer challenges from which to learn. Isn't adaptation what we keep on doing? Do you think learning to walk was simple? How about speaking? Nop, that wasn't simple. What about leaving the nest and going to school the first day? And math, social science, biology, physical education, literature? Nop, that wasn't simple, either. And for the boys (at least the ones of my generation), remember how hesitants we were about asking "that" girl to be our sweet heart and how our knees trembled while our heart was racing like an F-1? And when they said "no" life went on, only a little sad. And for the girls (at least for the ones close to my generation), was it simple waiting to be asked out by "that" boy? And for the ones married, divorced and widowers: is or was marriage a permanent honeymoon? Nop. Life is not simple but is not tough either. It's just challenging. In the end, can you imagine how boring life would be without challenges and difficulties?

I leave my blog here for now. A bit of suspense for anybody who reads it but I'll try to get back on track with my bloggin and tell you how my life goes on...