And the suspense continues...

No, the neurologist could not make a diagnostic yet. One more lab test. It seems that my movility limitation is more evasive than I thought, and the uncertainty, of course, is not pleasant. Treatment cannot start yet, whatever it might be. In the mean time, I'll just keep on doing my regular exercise routine every morning. I guess that if I donot know what it is I might as well try to keep as healthy and strong as I can. But enough about my health. And as usual, while life presents a challenge, I also get good news. I was promoted today, so all in all balance prevails.

I believe, in my last blog I left some arguments unfinished. Although I don't think I'll ever finish them, at least I will try to complement them as I blog away. Someone may have thought with reason that my optimism is not typical of an existentialist and I wouldn't argue against that because I wouldn't like to be typical of anything, except being typical of myself. What I argue is that existentialism is pragmatic. I live my present to the fullest. If I can't change my past, not even what I have just lived a few microseconds ago, why should that worry me? Someone could argue that I was typing my blog and that I could've deleted and writen something else. That's something I do often, but that doesn't change the past, only changes the text that I wrote but I can't go and "unwrite" or change the reasons why I wrote what I wrote in the first place or why I changed it later on. The only thing I can do is trying to learn from the past so that I don't make the same mistakes again. But that even may not be quite simple sometimes.

And what about the future? The future is not happening yet, so in a sense it doesn't exist. Present, which I would think is "unmeasurable", is unraveling as I go on with my life. No matter how much I plan, future does not exist. Only the present and what I do with it shapes my life. It doesn't mean that I don't plan. I do plan, but I can only act on the present and make things so that what I plan might become true. But not even that ensures I will achieve what I plan. Just two years ago, it didn't cross my mind that I would have my current limitation, so how could I have planned for this. An insurance agent would say, you could have bought a disability insurance policy. But not even that would've stopped me from getting mi movility limitation. I just have it in the present. Would I have it in the future? Probably, but not certainly. Maybe it's curable, maybe not. Whenever I know, if I ever know, I will just have information about what it is and how should I act. But my acts only exist in the present.

Well I feel I have to leave this unfinished, again, but my present is demanding me to take the action of going and picking up my daughters which, by the way, is a beautiful present.